IT was in the fourth year of my apprenticeship to Joe, and it was a Saturday night. There was a group assembled round the fire at the Three Jolly Bargemen, attentive to Mr Wopsle as he read the newspaper aloud. Of that group I was one.
A highly popular murder had been committed, and Mr Wopsle was imbrued in blood to the eyebrows. He gloated over every abhorrent adjective in the description, and identified himself with every witness at the Inquest. He faintly moaned, `I am done for,' as the victim, and he barbarously bellowed, `I'll serve you out,' as the murderer. He gave the medical testimony, in pointed imitation of our local practitioner; and he piped and shook, as the aged turnpike-keeper who had heard blows, to an extent so very paralytic as to suggest a doubt regarding the mental competency of that witness. The coroner, in Mr Wopsle's hands, became Timon of Athens; the beadle, Coriolanus. He enjoyed himself thoroughly, and we all enjoyed ourselves, and were delightfully comfortable. In this cozy state of mind we came to the verdict Wilful Murder.
Then, and not sooner, I became aware of a strange gentleman leaning over the back of the settle opposite me, looking on. There was an expression of contempt on his face, and he bit the side of a great forefinger as he watched the group of faces.
`Well!' said the stranger to Mr Wopsle, when the reading was done, `you have settled it all to your own satisfaction, I have no doubt?'
Everybody started and looked up, as if it were the murderer. He looked at everybody coldly and sarcastically.
`Guilty, of course?' said he. `Out with it. Come!'
`Sir,' returned Mr Wopsle, `without having the honour of your acquaintance, I do say Guilty.' Upon this, we all took courage to unite in a confirmatory murmur.
`I know you do,' said the stranger; `I knew you would. I told you so. But now I'll ask you a question. Do you know, or do you not know, that the law of England supposes every man to be innocent, until he is proved - proved - to be guilty?'
`Sir,' Mr Wopsle began to reply, `as an Englishman myself, I--'
`Come!' said the stranger, biting his forefinger at him. `Don't evade the question. Either you know it, or you don't know it. Which is it to be?'
He stood with his head on one side and himself on one side, in a bullying interrogative manner, and he threw his forefinger at Mr Wopsle - as it were to mark him out - before biting it again.
`Now!' said he. `Do you know it, or don't you know it?'
`Certainly I know it,' replied Mr Wopsle.
`Certainly you know it. Then why didn't you say so at first? Now, I'll ask you another question;' taking possession of Mr Wopsle, as if he had a right to him. `Do you know that none of these witnesses have yet been cross-examined?'
Mr Wopsle was beginning, `I can only say--' when the stranger stopped him.
`What? You won't answer the question, yes or no? Now, I'll try you again.' Throwing his finger at him again. `Attend to me. Are you aware, or are you not aware, that none of these witnesses have yet been cross-examined? Come, I only want one word from you. Yes, or no?'
Mr Wopsle hesitated, and we all began to conceive rather a poor opinion of him.
`Come!' said the stranger, `I'll help you. You don't deserve help, but I'll help you. Look at that paper you hold in your hand. What is it?'
`What is it?' repeated Mr Wopsle, eyeing it, much at a loss.
`Is it,' pursued the stranger in his most sarcastic and suspicious manner, `the printed paper you have just been reading from?'
`Undoubtedly.'
`Undoubtedly. Now, turn to that paper, and tell me whether it distinctly states that the *er expressly said that his legal advisers instructed him altogether to reserve his defence?'
`I read that just now,' Mr Wopsle pleaded.
`Never mind what you read just now, sir; I don't ask you what you read just now. You may read the Lord's Prayer backwards, if you like - and, perhaps, have done it before to-day. Turn to the paper. No, no, no my friend; not to the top of the column; you know better than that; to the bottom, to the bottom.' (We all began to think Mr Wopsle full of subterfuge.) `Well? Have you found it?'
`Here it is,' said Mr Wopsle.
`Now, follow that passage with your eye, and tell me whether it distinctly states that the *er expressly said that he was instructed by his legal advisers wholly to reserve his defence? Come!Do you make that of it?'
Mr Wopsle answered, `Those are not the exact words.'
`Not the exact words!' repeated the gentleman, bitterly. `Is that the exact substance?'
`Yes,' said Mr Wopsle.
`Yes,' repeated the stranger, looking round at the rest of the company with his right hand extended towards the witness, Wopsle. `And now I ask you what you say to the conscience of that man who, with that passage before his eyes, can lay his head upon his pillow after having pronounced a fellow-creature guilty, unheard?'
We all began to suspect that Mr Wopsle was not the man we had thought him, and that he was beginning to be found out.
`And that same man, remember,' pursued the gentleman, throwing his finger at Mr Wopsle heavily; `that same man might be summoned as a juryman upon this very trial, and, having thus deeply committed himself, might return to the bosom of his family and lay his head upon his pillow, after deliberately swearing that he would well and truly try the issue joined between Our Sovereign Lord the King and the *er at the bar, and would a true verdict give according to the evidence, so help him God!'
We were all deeply persuaded that the unfortunate Wopsle had gone too far, and had better stop in his reckless career while there was yet time.
The strange gentleman, with an air of authority not to be disputed, and with a manner expressive of knowing something secret about every one of us that would effectually do for each individual if he chose to disclose it, left the back of the settle, and came into the space between the two settles, in front of the fire, where he remained standing: his left hand in his pocket, and he biting the forefinger of his right.
`From information I have received,' said he, looking round at us as we all quailed before him, `I have reason to believe there is a blacksmith among you, by name Joseph - or Joe - Gargery. Which is the man?'
`Here is the man,' said Joe.
The strange gentleman beckoned him out of his place, and Joe went.
`You have an apprentice,' pursued the stranger, `commonly known as Pip? Is he here?'
`I am here!' I cried.
The stranger did not recognize me, but I recognized him as the gentleman I had met on the stairs, on the occasion of my second visit to Miss Havisham. I had known him the moment I saw him looking over the settle, and now that I stood confronting him with his hand upon my shoulder, I checked off again in detail, his large head, his dark complexion, his deep-set eyes, his bushy black eyebrows, his large watch-chain, his strong black dots of beard and whisker, and even the smell of scented soap on his great hand.
`I wish to have a private conference with you two,' said he, when he had surveyed me at his leisure. `It will take a little time. Perhaps we had better go to your place of residence. I prefer not to anticipate my communication here; you will impart as much or as little of it as you please to your friends afterwards; I have nothing to do with that.'
Amidst a wondering silence, we three walked out of the Jolly Bargemen, and in a wondering silence walked home. While going along, the strange gentleman occasionally looked at me, and occasionally bit the side of his finger. As we neared home, Joe vaguely acknowledging the occasion as an impressive and ceremonious one, went on ahead to open the front door. Our conference was held in the state parlour, which was feebly lighted by one candle.
It began with the strange gentleman's sitting down at the table, drawing the candle to him, and looking over some entries in his pocket-book. He then put up the pocket-book and set the candle a little aside: after peering round it into the darkness at Joe and me, to ascertain which was which.
`My name,' he said, `is Jaggers, and I am a lawyer in London. I am pretty well known. I have unusual business to transact with you, and I commence by explaining that it is not of my originating. If my advice had been asked, I should not have been here. It was not asked, and you see me here. What I have to do as the confidential agent of another, I do. No less, no more.'
Finding that he could not see us very well from where he sat, he got up, and threw one leg over the back of a chair and leaned upon it; thus having one foot on the seat of the chair, and one foot on the ground.
`Now, Joseph Gargery, I am the bearer of an offer to relieve you of this young fellow your apprentice. You would not object to cancel his indentures, at his request and for his good? You would want nothing for so doing?'
`Lord forbid that I should want anything for not standing in Pip's way,' said Joe, staring.
`Lord forbidding is pious, but not to the purpose,' returned Mr Jaggers. `The question is, Would you want anything? Do you want anything?'
`The answer is,' returned Joe, sternly, `No.'
I thought Mr Jaggers glanced at Joe, as if he considered him a fool for his disinterestedness. But I was too much bewildered between breathless curiosity and surprise, to be sure of it.
`Very well,' said Mr Jaggers. `Recollect the admission you have made, and don't try to go from it presently.'
`Who's a-going to try?' retorted Joe.
`I don't say anybody is. Do you keep a dog?'
`Yes, I do keep a dog.'
`Bear in mind then, that Brag is a good dog, but Holdfast is a better. Bear that in mind, will you?' repeated Mr Jaggers, shutting his eyes and nodding his head at Joe, as if he were forgiving him something. `Now, I return to this young fellow. And the communication I have got to make is, that he has great expectations.'
Joe and I gasped, and looked at one another.
`I am instructed to communicate to him,' said Mr Jaggers, throwing his finger at me sideways, `that he will come into a handsome property. Further, that it is the desire of the present possessor of that property, that he be immediately removed from his present sphere of life and from this place, and be brought up as a gentleman - in a word, as a young fellow of great expectations.'
My dream was out; my wild fancy was surpassed by sober reality; Miss Havisham was going to make my fortune on a grand scale.
`Now, Mr Pip,' pursued the lawyer, `I address the rest of what I have to say, to you. You are to understand, first, that it is the request of the person from whom I take my instructions, that you always bear the name of Pip. You will have no objection, I dare say, to your great expectations being encumbered with that easy condition. But if you have any objection, this is the time to mention it.'
My heart was beating so fast, and there was such a singing in my ears, that I could scarcely stammer I had no objection.
`I should think not! Now you are to understand, secondly, Mr Pip, that the name of the person who is your liberal benefactor remains a profound secret, until the person chooses to reveal it. I am empowered to mention that it is the intention of the person to reveal it at first hand by word of mouth to yourself. When or where that intention may be carried out, I cannot say; no one can say. It may be years hence. Now, you are distinctly to understand that you are most positively prohibited from making any inquiry on this head, or any allusion or reference, however distant, to any individual whomsoever as the individual, in all the communications you may have with me. If you have a suspicion in your own breast, keep that suspicion in your own breast. It is not the least to the purpose what the reasons of this prohibition are; they may be the strongest and gravest reasons, or they may be mere whim. This is not for you to inquire into. The condition is laid down. Your acceptance of it, and your observance of it as binding, is the only remaining condition that I am charged with, by the person from whom I take my instructions, and for whom I am not otherwise responsible. That person is the person from whom you derive your expectations, and the secret is solely held by that person and by me. Again, not a very difficult condition with which to encumber such a rise in fortune; but if you have any objection to it, this is the time to mention it. Speak out.'
Once more, I stammered with difficulty that I had no objection.
`I should think not! Now, Mr Pip, I have done with stipulations.' Though he called me Mr Pip, and began rather to make up to me, he still could not get rid of a certain air of bullying suspicion; and even now he occasionally shut his eyes and threw his finger at me while he spoke, as much as to express that he knew all kinds of things to my disparagement, if he only chose to mention them. `We come next, to mere details of arrangement. You must know that, although I have used the term "expectations" more than once, you are not endowed with expectations only. There is already lodged in my hands, a sum of money amply sufficient for your suitable education and maintenance. You will please consider me your guardian. Oh!' for I was going to thank him, `I tell you at once, I am paid for my services, or I shouldn't render them. It is considered that you must be better educated, in accordance with your altered position, and that you will be alive to the importance and necessity of at once entering on that advantage.'
I said I had always longed for it.
`Never mind what you have always longed for, Mr Pip,' he retorted; `keep to the record. If you long for it now, that's enough. Am I answered that you are ready to be placed at once, under some proper tutor? Is that it?'
I stammered yes, that was it.
`Good. Now, your inclinations are to be consulted. I don't think that wise, mind, but it's my trust. Have you ever heard of any tutor whom you would prefer to another?'
I had never heard of any tutor but Biddy and Mr Wopsle's greataunt; so, I replied in the negative.
`There is a certain tutor, of whom I have some knowledge, who I think might suit the purpose,' said Mr Jaggers. `I don't recommend him, observe; because I never recommend anybody. The gentleman I speak of, is one Mr Matthew Pocket.'
Ah! I caught at the name directly. Miss Havisham's relation. The Matthew whom Mr and Mrs Camilla had spoken of. The Matthew whose place was to be at Miss Havisham's head, when she lay dead, in her bride's dress on the bride's table.
`You know the name?' said Mr Jaggers, looking shrewdly at me, and then shutting up his eyes while he waited for my answer.
My answer was, that I had heard of the name.
`Oh!' said he. `You have heard of the name. But the question is, what do you say of it?'
I said, or tried to say, that I was much obliged to him for his recommendation--
`No, my young friend!' he interrupted, shaking his great head very slowly. `Recollect yourself!'
Not recollecting myself, I began again that I was much obliged to him for his recommendation--
`No, my young friend,' he interrupted, shaking his head and frowning and smiling both at once; `no, no, no; it's very well done, but it won't do; you are too young to fix me with it. Recommendation is not the word, Mr Pip. Try another.'
Correcting myself, I said that I was much obliged to him for his mention of Mr Matthew Pocket--
`That's more like it!' cried Mr Jaggers.
- And (I added), I would gladly try that gentleman.
`Good. You had better try him in his own house. The way shall be prepared for you, and you can see him son first, who is in London. When will you come to London?'
I said (glancing at Joe, who stood looking on, motionless), that I supposed I could come directly.
`First,' said Mr Jaggers, `you should have some new clothes to come in, and they should not be working clothes. Say this day week. You'll want some money. Shall I leave you twenty guineas?'
He produced a long purse, with the greatest coolness, and counted them out in the table and pushed them over to me. This was the first time he had taken his leg from the chair. He sat astride of the chair when he had pushed the money over, and sat swinging his purse and eyeing Joe.
`Well, Joseph Gargery? You look dumbfoundered?'
`I am!' said Joe, in a very decided manner.
`It was understood that you wanted nothing for yourself, remember?'
`It were understood,' said Joe. `And it are understood. And it ever will be similar according.'
`But what,' said Mr Jaggers, swinging his purse, `what if it was in my instructions to make you a present, as compensation?'
`As compensation what for?' Joe demanded.
`For the loss of his services.'
Joe laid his hand upon my shoulder with the touch of a woman. I have often thought him since, like the steam-hammer, that can crush a man or pat an egg-shell, in his combination of strength with gentleness. `Pip is that hearty welcome,' said Joe, `to go free with his services, to honour and fortun', as no words can tell him. But if you think as Money can make compensation to me for the loss of the little child - what come to the forge - and ever the best of friends!--'
O dear good Joe, whom I was so ready to leave and so unthankful to, I see you again, with your muscular blacksmith's arm before your eyes, and your broad chest heaving, and your voice dying away. O dear good faithful tender Joe, I feel the loving tremble of your hand upon my arm, as solemnly this day as if it had been the rustle of an angel's wing!
But I encouraged Joe at the time. I was lost in the mazes of my future fortunes, and could not retrace the by-paths we had trodden together. I begged Joe to be comforted, for (as he said) we had ever been the best of friends, and (as I said) we ever would be so. Joe scooped his eyes with his disengaged wrist, as if he were bent on gouging himself, but said not another word.
Mr Jaggers had looked on at this, as one who recognized in Joe the village idiot, and in me his keeper. When it was over, he said, weighing in his hand the purse he had ceased to swing:
`Now, Joseph Gargery, I warn you this is your last chance. No half measures with me. If you mean to take a present that I have it in charge to make you, speak out, and you shall have it. If on the contrary you mean to say--' Here, to his great amazement, he was stopped by Joe's suddenly working round him with every demonstration of a fell pugilistic purpose.
`Which I meantersay,' cried Joe, `that if you come into my place bull-baiting and badgering me, come out! Which I meantersay as sech if you're a man, come on! Which I meantersay that what I say, I meantersay and stand or fall by!'
I drew Joe away, and he immediately became placable; merely stating to me, in an obliging manner and as a polite expostulatory notice to any one whom it might happen to concern, that he were not a going to be bull-baited and badgered in his own place. Mr Jaggers had risen when Joe demonstrated, and had backed near the door. Without evincing any inclination to come in again, he there delivered his valedictory remarks. They were these:
`Well, Mr Pip, I think the sooner you leave here - as you are to be a gentleman - the better. Let it stand for this day week, and you shall receive my printed address in the meantime. You can take a hackney-coach at the stage-coach office in London, and come straight to me. Understand, that I express no opinion, one way or other, on the trust I undertake. I am paid for undertaking it, and I do so. Now, understand that, finally. Understand that!'
He was throwing his finger at both of us, and I think would have gone on, but for his seeming to think Joe dangerous, and going off.
Something came into my head which induced me to run after him, as he was going down to the Jolly Bargemen where he had left a hired carriage.
`I beg your pardon, Mr Jaggers.'
`Halloa!' said he, facing round, `what's the matter?'
`I wish to be quite right, Mr Jaggers, and to keep to your directions; so I thought I had better ask. Would there be any objection to my taking leave of any one I know, about here, before I go away?'
`No,' said he, looking as if he hardly understood me.
`I don't mean in the village only, but up-town?'
`No,' said he. `No objection.'
I thanked him and ran home again, and there I found that Joe had already locked the front door and vacated the state parlour, and was seated by the kitchen fire with a hand on each knee, gazing intently at the burning coals. I too sat down before the fire and gazed at the coals, and nothing was said for a long time.
My sister was in her cushioned chair in her corner, and Biddy sat at her needlework before the fire, and Joe sat next Biddy, and I sat next Joe in the corner opposite my sister. The more I looked into the glowing coals, the more incapable I became of looking at Joe; the longer the silence lasted, the more unable I felt to speak.
At length I got out, `Joe, have you told Biddy?'
`No, Pip,' returned Joe, still looking at the fire, and holding his knees tight, as if he had private information that they intended to make off somewhere, `which I left it to yourself, Pip.'
`I would rather you told, Joe.'
`Pip's a gentleman of fortun' then,' said Joe, `and God bless him in it!'
Biddy dropped her work, and looked at me. Joe held his knees and looked at me. I looked at both of them. After a pause, they both heartily congratulated me; but there was a certain touch of sadness in their congratulations, that I rather resented.
I took it upon myself to impress Biddy (and through Biddy, Joe) with the grave obligation I considered my friends under, to know nothing and say nothing about the maker of my fortune. It would all come out in good time, I observed, and in the meanwhile nothing was to be said, save that I had come into great expectations from a mysterious patron. Biddy nodded her head thoughtfully at the fire as she took up her work again, and said she would be very particular; and Joe, still detaining his knees, said, `Ay, ay, I'll be ekervally partickler, Pip;' and then they congratulated me again, and went on to express so much wonder at the notion of my being a gentleman, that I didn't half like it.
Infinite pains were then taken by Biddy to convey to my sister some idea of what had happened. To the best of my belief, those efforts entirely failed. She laughed and nodded her head a great many times, and even repeated after Biddy, the words `Pip' and `Property.' But I doubt if they had more meaning in them than an election cry, and I cannot suggest a darker picture of her state of mind.
I never could have believed it without experience, but as Joe and Biddy became more at their cheerful ease again, I became quite gloomy. Dissatisfied with my fortune, of course I could not be; but it is possible that I may have been, without quite knowing it, dissatisfied with myself.
Anyhow, I sat with my elbow on my knee and my face upon my hand, looking into the fire, as those two talked about my going away, and about what they should do without me, and all that. And whenever I caught one of them looking at me, though never so pleasantly (and they often looked at me - particularly Biddy), I felt offended: as if they were expressing some mistrust of me. Though Heaven knows they never did by word or sign.
At those times I would get up and look out at the door; for, our kitchen door opened at once upon the night, and stood open on summer evenings to air the room. The very stars to which I then raised my eyes, I am afraid I took to be but poor and humble stars for glittering on the rustic objects among which I had passed my life.
`Saturday night,' said I, when we sat at our supper of bread-and-cheese and beer. `Five more days, and then the day before the day!They'll soon go.'
`Yes, Pip,' observed Joe, whose voice sounded hollow in his beer mug. `They'll soon go.'
`Soon, soon go,' said Biddy.
`I have been thinking, Joe, that when I go down on Monday, and order my new clothes, I shall tell the tailor that I'll come and put them on there, or that I'll have them sent to Mr Pumblechook's. It would be very disagreeable to be stared at by all the people here.'
`Mr and Mrs Hubble might like to see you in your new genteel figure too, Pip,' said Joe, industriously cutting his bread, with his cheese on it, in the palm of his left hand, and glancing at my untasted supper as if he thought of the time when we used to compare slices. `So might Wopsle. And the Jolly Bargemen might take it as a compliment.'
`That's just what I don't want, Joe. They would make such a business of it - such a coarse and common business - that I couldn't bear myself.'
`Ah, that indeed, Pip!' said Joe. `If you couldn't abear yourself--'
Biddy asked me here, as she sat holding my sister's plate, `Have you thought about when you'll show yourself to Mr Gargery, and your sister, and me? You will show yourself to us; won't you?'
`Biddy,' I returned with some resentment, `you are so exceedingly quick that it's difficult to keep up with you.'
(`She always were quick,' observed Joe.)
`If you had waited another moment, Biddy, you would have heard me say that I shall bring my clothes here in a bundle one evening - most likely on the evening before I go away.'
Biddy said no more. Handsomely forgiving her, I soon exchanged an affectionate good-night with her and Joe, and went up to bed. When I got into my little room, I sat down and took a long look at it, as a mean little room that I should soon be parted from and raised above, for ever, It was furnished with fresh young remembrances too, and even at the same moment I fell into much the same confused division of mind between it and the better rooms to which I was going, as I had been in so often between the forge and Miss Havisham's, and Biddy and Estella.
The sun had been shining brightly all day on the roof of my attic, and the room was warm. As I put the window open and stood looking out, I saw Joe come slowly forth at the dark door below, and take a turn or two in the air; and then I saw Biddy come, and bring him a pipe and light it for him. He never smoked so late, and it seemed to hint to me that he wanted comforting, for some reason or other.
He presently stood at the door immediately beneath me, smoking his pipe, and Biddy stood there too, quietly talking to him, and I knew that they talked of me, for I heard my name mentioned in an endearing tone by both of them more than once. I would not have listened for more, if I could have heard more: so, I drew away from the window, and sat down in my one chair by the bedside, feeling it very sorrowful and strange that this first night of my bright fortunes should be the loneliest I had ever known.
Looking towards the open window, I saw light wreaths from Joe's pipe floating there, and I fancied it was like a blessing from Joe - not obtruded on me or paraded before me, but pervading the air we shared together. I put my light out, and crept into bed; and it was an uneasy bed now, and I never slept the old sound sleep in it any more.
我给乔做学徒的第四年，一个星期六的晚上，有一群人聚集在三个快乐的船夫酒店时，围在火炉的四周，正聚精会神地倾听着沃甫赛先生高声朗诵报纸上的文章。我也是这群人中的一个。
那是一则有关一件轰动一时的凶杀案的新闻，沃甫赛先生读得似乎满头满脸都染上了血污一样。他心满意足地把凶杀案中的每一个令人恐怖的形容词都读得有声有色，似乎他自己成了法庭上的一个个证人。他模仿受害人虚弱的呻吟：“我一切都完了。”他又模仿凶手蛮横的怒吼：“我一定要找你报仇。”他还绘声绘色地学着当地医生的语调，提供医药方面的诊断证明，接着又表演了一个管关卡的老头儿，大声哭泣、全身战栗地叙述他听到的打击声。他把这证人表演得瘫作一团，以致听众们会感到怀疑，这个证人的心智是否正常。在沃甫赛的朗诵中，验尸官变成了雅典的泰门，而差役又变成了科里奥兰勒斯。他读得津津有味，我们听得津津有味，而且快乐自在。我们在这种心情非常适宜的情况下，一致裁决这是故意杀人罪。
就在这时，我才注意到有一位陌生的绅士伏在我对面高背椅的靠背上，冷眼观察着这一切。他脸上露出一种轻视的神色，把粗大的食指放在嘴里咬着，一边打量着在座的每一张面孔。
“噢！”这位陌生人在听完了沃甫赛先生的朗诵后，说道，“我看毫无疑问你已经心满意足地审理完了这个案件吧？”
在场的人都大吃一惊，一起抬头看着他，好像这个人就是凶手一样。而他则冷冷地、带着嘲讽的神情也望着大家。
“自然，你是说他有罪，是吗？”陌生人说道，“那你就说出来吧，说吧！”
“先生，”沃甫赛先生答道，“虽然我还无此荣幸和你相谈，不过我认为他是有罪的。”这时，我们也都鼓足勇气，低声附和着，说他有罪。
“我知道你这么认为，”陌生人说道，“其实我早就知道你这么认为，刚才我已经说过了。不过，现在我倒要向你提出一个问题：你知不知道，英格兰有一条法律，即在没有得到证据证明时，每一个人都是清白无辜的。”
“先生，”沃甫赛先生回答道，‘哦作为一名英国人，我——”
“说下去！”陌生人对着他咬着自己的食指，说道，“不要回避问题，你究竟是知道还是不知道这条法律。哪一个是你的回答？”
他站在那里头歪向一边，身子歪向另一边，完全是一副气势汹汹的责问神气，伸出食指，点着沃甫赛先生——仿佛特意点着他让大家知道——然后，又继续咬他的食指。
“你说！”他问道，“你究竟知道还是不知道？”
“我当然知道这条法律。”沃甫赛先生回答道。
“既然你当然知道，刚才为什么不早说呢？好吧！我再问你一个问题，”沃甫赛先生好像完全处在他的操纵之中，受着他的摆布。“你可知道所有那些证人都还没有经过法律盘问这一事实？”
沃甫赛先生刚开始说“我只能说——”，话便被陌生人打断了。
“怎么？你不想用是或不是来回答这个问题？好，我再问一遍。”他又用食指点着沃甫赛，“看着我，你知道还是不知道所有这些证人都还没有经过法律盘问？说吧，我只要你说一个字：是抑或非？”
沃甫赛先生吞吞吐吐的，不知该怎么答才好。我们开始对他转变了态度，敬佩之情减低了。
“你就说吧！”陌生人说道，“我来帮帮你，虽然你并不值得我帮忙，但我还是帮帮你吧。先看看你手中拿的这张报纸，报纸上是怎么写的？”
“报纸上怎么写的？”沃甫赛先生看了一眼报纸，给弄得不知所措，只得重复了一句。
陌生人以极具讽刺意味的态度和令人捉摸不定的神情又说道：“你刚才读的是不是这张印着字的报纸？”
“毋庸置疑。”
“既然毋庸置疑便好办。那么把报纸翻开，再告诉我报纸上是不是清清楚楚地印着犯人明明白白的声明，他的法律顾问们都要他保留辩护权？”
“我刚刚才看到这一段。”沃甫赛先生抗辩道。
“别管你刚刚才看到什么，先生，我并没问你刚刚才看到什么。只要你高兴，你尽可以去倒着读主祷文，当然，也许你早就倒着读了。还是来说报纸吧，不，不，朋友，不是栏目的开头，那些你都已经看过了，往下看，往下看。”（这时，我们都觉得沃甫赛先生很会耍花样。）“怎么样？你找到了吗？”
“在这里。”沃甫赛先生说道。
“好吧，你用眼睛好好看一下这一节，然后告诉我，它是不是清清楚楚地指出犯人明明白白地声明他的法律顾问们要他保留辩护权？说吧，是不是如此？”
沃甫赛先生答道：“措词可不太相同啊。”
“措词虽然不太相同，”这位绅士尖刻地说道，“可意思是不是一致呢？”
“那倒一致。”沃甫赛先生答道。
“那倒一致。”陌生人重复道。他看了看周围的人，又把右手向证人沃甫赛伸去，“诸位，现在我来请教大家，这一段新闻明明在他眼前，可是这个人根本不去理会它，竟然把一个没有经过审讯的同胞判成有罪，事后还能安心地睡大觉。你们对他的良知有何评价？”
我们大家都开始怀疑沃甫赛先生并不是我们曾经想象的那种人，他的马脚已经开始为人们所觉察。
“不要忘记，诸位，就是他这一类的人，”这位绅士把手指指向沃甫赛先生，趁势紧逼道，“就是像他这样的人有可能会被召去充当陪审员，参加审理案件，掌握着生杀大权。他嘴上郑重其事地宣誓，说要忠诚地为国王陛下效劳，在法庭上公正地审理犯人，根据证据提供判决，顺天行法，可就在像刚才那样尽过职责后，他却能回到家中，只顾自己安安稳稳地睡大觉。”
我们现在才深深地体会到，这位不幸的沃甫赛的确是过分了，如果他适时而收，停止他的自以为是，情况也许大不相同。
这位陌生的绅士有一副不容争辩的威严气慨，而且他的态度明显地表现出他了解我们当中每一个人的秘密，他高兴揭露谁，谁准保垮台。这时，他从椅子的高靠背后走出来，走到两张高背靠椅之间的地方，正对着火炉。他就站在那里，左手插在口袋里，右手的食指放在嘴巴中咬着。
“根据我所得到的信息，”他用眼睛扫视了一下四周十分沮丧的我们，说道，“我有充分的理由断定在你们中间有一位铁匠，叫做约瑟夫，或者叫做乔·葛奇里。哪一位是他？”
“我就是。”乔说道。
这位陌生的先生向他招招手，示意他过去。乔便走到他跟前。
“你有一个学徒，”陌生人继续说，“人们都叫他皮普，是吗？他来了吗？”
“我来了！”我大声喊道。
陌生人并没认出我，而我一下子便认出了他。他就是我第二次到郝维仙小姐家去时，在楼梯上遇到的那位绅士。刚才他伏在靠背上的时候我就认出了他，现在我面对他站着，他的一只手搭在我的肩头，我便详细地核实了他的相貌，他的大头、黑色的面容、深陷的双眼、又浓又黑的眉毛、粗大的表链、脸上一点一点又硬又黑的胡茬子，甚至还有他那大手上发出的香皂气味。
“我想和你们两位谈一些私事，”他从容不迫地打量了我之后说道，“这需要一些时间，我看就到你们府上去谈吧，那儿是最方便的。究竟谈什么我不想现在就说，至于以后，你们把这事告诉你们的至亲好友或者不告诉他们由你们决定，因为那和我没有关系。”
我们三人在令人奇怪的沉默中走出了三个快乐的船夫酒店，又在令人奇怪的沉默中回到了家。一路上，这位陌生人偶然地会看我一眼，又偶然地会把他的指尖放在嘴里咬一阵。到了家门日时，乔模模糊糊地意识到此人造访的重要性，为了表示其隆重，便先走一步过去把大门打开，在客厅里点燃起一根发出微弱光辉的蜡烛，我们的交谈便开始了。
一开始，陌生人先在桌子旁边坐下来，伸手把蜡烛拉得靠近一些，看着他笔记本上记的什么东西，然后又把笔记本收了起来。他打量着坐在黑暗中的乔和我，在确认了究竟谁是谁之后，他把蜡烛又移开了一些。
“我的名字叫贾格斯，”他说道，“是伦敦的律师，有点儿名气。今天我来是要和你们办一件不寻常的事情。我首先要告诉你们，办这件事不是我的主意。如果事先要问我一下，我就不会到这儿来，正因为事先没有征询我的意见，所以我就径自来了。我是受人委托，作为他的秘密代理人来和你们办这件事的。整个事情就是如此。”
他感到从他坐着的那个地方看不清我们，干脆站了起来，把一条腿跨过椅背，靠在那里站着，于是他的一只脚就踩在了椅座上，另一只脚则踩在地上。
“现在我要问你，约瑟夫·葛奇里，我受人委托向你提出解除你和你的徒弟，即和这位年轻人之间师徒关系的请求。为了这位年轻人的前途着想，你该不会反对他向你提出要求解除师徒和约的请求吧？你会提出什么条件吗？”
乔惊奇地睁大眼睛答道：“为了皮普的前程，我是不提任何条件的。我那样做，天主不容。”
“天主不容表明你的虔诚善心，但却不是回答，”贾格斯先生说道，“我要问的是，你会有什么要求吗？你到底有没有什么要求？”
乔很严肃地答道：“我的回答是没有。”
贾格斯先生瞅着乔。我暗自思忖，他好像在研究乔这么无私心杂念，究竟是不是一个大傻瓜。我当时由于好奇和惊讶，气都透不过来了。由于这种过分的紧张和手足无措，我对他们的观察也不仔细了。
“很好，”贾格斯先生说道，“记住你的语言，切记不要一会儿又改变主意。”
“谁会改变主意？”乔反驳道。
“我没有说谁会改变主意。你家养着狗吗？”
“我们养了一条狗。”
“那么记住：自夸虽然好，牢靠就更妙。记住这句话，你看行吗？”贾格斯先生反复说着，并闭上眼睛朝乔点了点头，好像他原谅了乔做的什么错事一样。“行了，那么话归正题，来谈谈这位年轻人吧。我来到这里所要说的是，他可望获得一大笔遗产。”
乔和我一听此话，惊得喘不过气来，只有面面相觑。
“本人受委托来通知他，”贾格斯先生说道，伸出手指斜着指向我，“他可望继承一笔相当大的财产。此外，这财产目前的所有人希望这个年轻人脱离他当前的生活环境，并离开这个地方，去接受上流社会的教育，简而言之，要把他作为大笔遗产的继承人来培养。”
我的梦想实现了，我疯狂的幻想成为了清晰的现实。一定是郝维仙小姐使我走向了一条幸运的道路。
“现在，皮普先生，”这位律师对我说道，“现在还有些话我必须对你说。首先，从委托人那里我带来了一个要求，即要你永远使用皮普这个名字。你将接受一大笔遗产而仅仅有这么一个简单的条件，我想你是不至于反对的。假使你有反对的意见，现在有时间可以先把它提出来。”
这时，我的心跳动得很快，甚至在我的耳中也响起了不断的震动声。我好容易才结结巴巴地说了句不反对。
“我想你也是不会反对的！现在我必须让你知道，第二点，皮普先生，对于这位慷慨解囊的恩主的名字，我必须严守秘密，直到他觉得什么时候合适才能告诉你。我受权向你说明，当事人将根据他所认为合适的时候亲自告诉你。至于什么时间或什么地点这个愿望可得实现，我无法奉告，也没有人知道。也许要等到多年之后。现在，我要清楚地告诉你：今后在你和我的交往过程中，你万万不许问及这件事，哪怕是暗示一下，或者运用其他办法说此人可能是某某人等等均不允许。如果你感到心中有怀疑，那你就在自己心中怀疑好了。这一禁忌的理由是什么并非是毫无道理的，其理由也许是重要的，也许是有根据的，也许是一时的高兴，反正这些你都不许问及。条件已经讲明，接下来的是你必须接受这些条件并遵守这些条件。这便是我受当事人的委托、按照他的指示要处理的事务，此外再不负其他责任。此人就是那位准备给你大笔遗产的人，其秘密也只有他本人和我知道。再说，能使你青云直上，这个条件并不难接受。不过，如果你有反对意见，现在还有时间，你可以提出来。好，说吧。”
我又一次结结巴巴、困难重重地表示我不反对。
“我想你也不会反对的！那么，皮普先生，我已经和你定好了条件。”虽然他口中称呼我皮普先生，对我的态度也开始有了些改进，但他仍然脱不了那一副趾高气昂的怀疑姿态，不时地还要闭上双目，向我伸出手指头，点点戳戳地说话，似乎表示他知道我的所有底细，只要他高兴一一点破，我就将声名俱毁。“下面我们就具体的细节安排进行协商。你必须明白，虽然我已经用了遗产这个词，而且不止一次地用到它，其实你还不仅仅有这笔遗产。在我手里已接受了他存的一大笔现款，足够供给你接受良好教育和维持生活。你可以把我当成你的保护人。噢！”我正准备向他道谢，他又说道，“我还得告诉你，我为他服务他是给我报酬的，如果没有报酬我是不会白干的。考虑到你环境的改变，你必须受良好教育以与之相称，必须充分意识到立即抓住这有利时机的重要性和必要性。”
我说我从前就一直渴求有这个机会。
“皮普先生，不必再提你过去渴求什么了，”他责备我道，“就到此为止。只要你现在渴求这一切就够了。我想你是准备立刻找一位合适的老师开始受教育，是不是这样？”
我结结巴巴地说是这样。
“那就好。现在我来看看你的意见，不过我得告诉你，先征求你的意见不一定是明智之举，我只是受人委托。你听到过有哪一位老师你认为是不错的？”
因为我除了毕蒂和沃甫赛先生的姑婆外，没有听说过有其他的老师，所以我的回答是否定的。
“有一位老师，我对他有些了解，我想他很适合来教育你。”贾格斯先生说道，“你要知道，我不是向你推荐他，因为我从来不推荐任何人。我刚才说的这位先生是马休·鄱凯特先生。”
啊，我一听就知道这个人是谁了。他是郝维仙小姐的亲戚。卡美拉先生和卡美拉夫人曾经提到过这个马休。等郝维仙小姐死后，穿着新娘的衣服躺在那张喜筵桌上时，就是这位马休要站在她的头那边。
“你知道这个人吗？”贾格斯先生敏锐地瞥了我一眼说道，然后闭上双眼，好像在等待我的回答。
我告诉他我曾经听到过这个名字。
“噢！”他说道，“你听到过这个名字！不过，我要问的是你觉得这个人怎么样？”
我说，或者说我想说，我非常非常地感谢他的推荐——
他不等我说完便打断了我，慢慢地摇晃着他的那颗大脑袋，说：“不，我年轻的朋友！要想一想！”
我什么也想不起来，便又说我非常非常地感谢他的推荐——
他又没有等我讲完便打断了我，摇晃着脑袋，同时又皱眉又微笑。“不，我年轻的朋友，不，不，不。这话是不错，不过这样不行。你太年轻，别想用那个词来讨好。不能用推荐这个词儿，皮普先生，设法换一个词。”
我便改正说我非常非常地感谢他提到马休·鄱凯特先生——
“这还差不多！”贾格斯先生说道。
我补充说我十分高兴找这位先生试试。
“好吧，你最好还是到他家里去试一下。你的一切我会为你安排，你可以先去看望他的儿子，他在伦敦。你准备什么时候会伦敦？”
我瞥了一眼乔，见他站在那里呆望着什么，一动也不动，同时说我想随时都可以动身。
贾格先生说道：“首先你得做几件新衣服，要新衣服，而不是工作服。就说定下星期的今天启程吧。你会需要钱的，我留给你二十个金币怎样？”
他十分冷静地拿出了一个长长的钱袋，把一块块金币数出来放在桌上，然后又把它们推到我手边。现在，他才第一次把腿从椅子上放下来。他把钱推给了我之后，便叉开双腿坐在椅子上。他坐在那里晃荡着钱袋，同时看着乔。
“喂，约瑟夫·葛奇里你怎么了？你在发愣是吗？”
“是的！”乔说道，态度非常坚定。
“你刚才说你没有什么要求，你还没有忘记吧？”
“我刚才说过，”乔说道，“现在我还是这么说，而且我永远也这么说。”
“不过，”贾格斯先生摇晃着他的钱袋说道，“如果当事人委托我送给你一笔钱作为补偿，你又怎么说呢？”
“补偿什么？”乔问道。
“补偿他不再给你工作，对你造成的损失。”
乔小心翼翼地像女人那样把手轻轻地放在我肩头上。自此后我时常想，他好比一柄蒸汽锤，既能一锤压死一个人，又能一锤下去恰到好处地轻拍在鸡蛋的壳上，真是刚中带柔。乔说道：“皮普能脱离铁匠铺去过幸福的生活，我是求之不得，太高兴了，没有话可说。可是，皮普和我永远是最好的朋友，他的走确是铁匠铺的损失，可如果你以为钱可以补偿这孩子离开我的损失——”
哦，亲爱的善良的乔，那时我竟然下定决心离开你，而对你又那般忘情忘义。现在，你的身影仿佛又在我眼前，你用铁匠强壮的臂膀遮住泪眼，宽阔的胸脯上下起伏，你的语音低沉得以致难以发出。哦，亲爱的善良的乔，现在我仿佛仍然感觉到你当时搁在我肩头上的手带有爱抚的颤抖，就像天使在扑打着羽翼，现在回忆起来仍令我对你肃然起敬！
可是在那时，我由于迷恋未来的幸福，怎想再重蹈以往走过的人生窄道，所以我劝乔不必那般难过，请求乔放宽心，因为他说我们永远是最好的朋友，而我说我们以后仍然是最好的朋友。乔用另一只手腕擦着眼中流下的泪珠，仿佛连眼珠都要拣出来似的，只是再也说不出别的话来。
贾格斯先生把这一切都看在眼里。在他眼里，乔似乎成了一个白痴乡巴佬，而我是这个白痴的守护人。他看完这一切后，又把那已不再晃动的钱袋在手中掂量了几下说道：
“约瑟夫·葛奇里，我再说一次，这是你最后的机会。用不着和我耍手段，这笔礼金是有人委托我带给你的，你说愿意接受，这便是你的，假使相反，你说——”说到这里，他突然看到乔就像一名残忍凶狠的拳击手一样做出一些吓人的动作，于是在惊讶之中停下了话音。
乔叫喊道：“我看你到我家来要是为了逗弄戏耍我，你就站出来！我看你要是一个男子汉大丈夫，你就过来！我看这就是我要说的，你看着办吧，要么收起你那一套，要么伸出你的拳头！”
我把乔拖到一边，他立刻平心静气下来。他只是亲切而有礼貌地对我说，他决不能在自己家中被人家当狗使唤当牛逗乐受人欺侮，同时这也是以一种礼貌的方法告诫对方。贾格斯先生见到乔刚才的样子就已经站起来，一直退到了门口。他没有任何再想进来的表示，就只是站在那里发表了他的告别辞，全文是：
“皮普先生，就这样好了。你要成为上流社会的人，我以为你还是趁早离开这里，愈快愈好。定于下星期的今天出发，届时我会给你一张印有地址的名片。你到伦敦可以在驿站雇一辆出租马车直接到我那里。你要明白我没有个人意图，不管怎样，我只是受人之托。我只是受别人雇佣办事，照约定办事。这一点你必须明白，你必须弄明白。”
他朝我们两人伸出了手指。我想他本来还有什么话要说的，只因为深怕乔干出危险的事儿，只有一走了事了。
我忽然想到一件事，不得不拔腿追上去，一直追到了三个快乐的船夫酒店。我知道他有一辆雇来的马车停在那儿。
“贾格斯先生，对不起我有些事打扰您了。”
“唔！”他转过脸来说，“你有什么事？”
“贾格斯先生，我想应该按照您的指示办事，才能把事情办得很顺利，所以我想问您一下，在我离开之前可不可以和我认识的一些熟人告别，您说呢？”
“我不反对。”他说着，看上去好像不大懂得我的意思。
“我不是指村子里认识的人，而是指镇上认识的人。”
“不，我不反对。”他答道。
我对他表示了谢意之后便赶忙跑回来，一到家就看到乔已经锁上了大门，离开了客厅，坐在厨房里的火炉旁边，两只手放在两只膝盖上，出神地看着正在燃烧着的火红的煤块。我便也坐在炉火之前，注视着煤块，无言地坐了好一段时间。
我姐姐倚靠在有软垫子的圈椅上，椅子放在火炉的一个角上，毕蒂也坐在炉前干着针线活儿，她旁边是乔，乔的旁边是我，我正在我姐姐的对面。我越是凝视着发出红光的煤块我就越不可能看乔一眼，沉默的时间拖得越长久也就越难以开口打破沉静的局面。
终于，我实在忍不住了，说道：“乔，你已告诉毕蒂了吗？”
“皮普，还没有呢。”乔仍然望着火炉，紧紧地抓住双膝不放松，仿佛他得到了秘密情报，知道这两个膝盖企图逃跑。他说道：“皮普，还是你自己告诉她吧。”
“乔，我想还是由你讲更好。”
于是乔说道：“皮普成了一个有钱的绅士了，愿上帝保信他！”
毕蒂停下手中的针线活儿，看着我。乔抱着两个膝盖也望着我。我也望着他们两个人。隔了片刻，他们两人便衷心地向我道贺。我感到在他们两人的祝贺中有那么一点伤心，这使我有些不愉快。
我利用这个时机让毕蒂知道，也是通过毕蒂让乔知道，因为他们都是我的好朋友，也就该严格遵守义务，不能打探消息，揣测我的恩人是谁，也不能议论他的长短。我告诉他们，要耐心等待，一旦时机成熟，真情便自然会显露出来，因而目前什么都得守口如瓶、秘而不宜。如果有人问起，就说有一位不知姓名的神秘恩主将可能给我一笔遗产。毕蒂一面重新拿起活儿做起来，一面对着火炉若有所思地点点头，并且表示她会特别提防的。乔依然抓着双膝不放，说：“嗳，嗳，皮普，我也会特别提防的。”接着他们又祝贺我，又一再表明他们可真没有想到，我居然真的成为上流社会的人了，不过这话我一点都不喜欢听。
毕蒂花了很大功夫，作了许多努力，才让我姐姐了解了一些关于我的情况。不过，根据我的看法，毕蒂完全是白费力气。我姐姐笑着，不断地点着头。毕蒂说一声 “皮普”，她就回应一声“皮普”，毕蒂又说一声“财产”，她又回应一声“财产”。我总在怀疑，这就像竟选时的叫喊一样，大家这样讲，我也这样讲，并无多大意义。说实话，我根本无法用文字描绘出她那内在的、令人无法了解的心态图。
如果不是我个人的亲身体验，我是绝不会相信的，然而事实如此，乔和毕蒂又有说有笑轻松自如了，只留得我心中郁郁寡欢。自然，对我的幸运我不会感到不满，如果说有什么不满只是不满自己而已，尽管我也不了解对自己不满的真正原因。
不管怎样，我坐在那里，把胳膊肘搁在膝盖头上，用手撑着面孔，凝望着炉火，而他们正谈论着我的离家，谈论着我走了他们该怎么办，还有其他的什么等等。只要他们有一个人看着我（因为他们时常瞅着我，特别是毕蒂），虽然神情显得那么愉快，我还是感到受到了侮辱，好像他们不信任我似的。其实老天都知道，他们无论在言语上或是在动作上都没有表现出这个意思。
每遇这种时候，我便会站起来走到门外四处闲望。因为厨房的门一打开便可以看到远处的夜景，在夏天的夜晚为了给室内通风，门总是开着的。那天，我抬头仰视着天空的繁星，感到这些星星都是些可怜的星星，下贱的星星，因为这些星星所照射的不过是我曾生活其间的乡村野景。
我们坐下来吃着面包奶酪饮着啤酒当晚餐时，我说道：“从今天星期六晚上算起，再有五天就是动身的前一天了，五天一转眼就会过去的。”
“日子过得很快，皮普，”乔边饮酒边说话，声音听起来瓮瓮的，“五天一转眼就会过去的。”
“过起来真快得不得了。”毕蒂说道。
“乔，我在想，星期日我要到镇上去订做新衣服。我准备告诉裁缝做好后放在那里等我自己去穿，要么就让他们送到彭波契克先生家里。我想要是回来穿，这里的人们都会瞪着大眼瞅着我，那可真让人讨厌。”
“皮普，胡卜先生和夫人说不定想看一下你这位新绅士的派头呢。”乔说着，把面包连同奶酪一起放在他的左手掌中用心地切着，同时看了一眼我那还未尝过的晚餐，仿佛回忆起当年我们总是比赛谁吃得快的情形。“还有沃甫赛也想瞧瞧你，三个快乐的船夫酒店会把这当作大喜事呢。”
“乔，我就是不希望他们这样做。他们会小题大作，什么粗俗的下贱事都干得出，那我可不能忍受。”
“唔，皮普，这倒是真的！”乔说道，“要是你忍受不了——”
毕蒂这时正坐在我姐姐旁边端着盘子喂她吃饭。她问我道：“你想不想穿起来给葛奇里先生、给你姐姐、还有给我看看呢？你会穿起来给我们欣赏一下，对吗？”
“毕蒂，”我有些不满地答道，“你脑子动得真快，我可没法和你相比。”
（“她脑子动得总是那么快。”乔说道。）
“毕蒂，你要是多等一会，就会听到我说，我打算在某一天的晚上把衣服包好带到这里来，很可能就在我动身的前一晚。”
毕蒂没有再说什么。我宽宏大量地原宥了她，然后不一会儿便和乔及毕蒂交换了亲切的晚安，上楼睡觉去了。走进自己的小房间，我先坐下来打量了四周好一会儿，心想这是一个多么卑微的小房间，而不久我就将与它告别，我的身份已经提高，而且永远不会再住到这里。不过，正是这个小房间给了我多少饶有兴味的儿时回忆。这时，我的沉思又坠人混乱之中，简直使我惶恐不安。这间卑微的陋室和我即将去住的华屋相比，哪一间更好呢？这里的铁匠铺和郝维仙小姐的家宅，哪一个更好呢？还有毕蒂和埃斯苔娜，又是谁更好呢？
我这间小屋从早到晚都受到明亮的太阳照射，即使晚上也还保持着温暖。我站起来打开窗，立在窗口向外眺望，忽见乔从黑洞洞的屋门走出，在外面兜了一两个圈子；然后我又看到毕蒂也走出来递给他烟斗，并为他点好了烟。我知道他向来不在这么晚的时候抽烟，是不是有什么不快，或是由于什么其他的原因？
乔站在门口，就站在我的正下方，抽着烟斗。毕蒂也站在那里，和他悄悄地谈论着什么。我知道他们谈论着我，因为我听到他们用爱惜的口吻提到我的名字，而且不止一次。即使我能很清楚地听到他们谈话，我也不想再听下去。于是，我从窗口退回，坐在我床旁边的一张椅子上，莫名其妙地感到一阵伤感。这是我生活转向光明未来的第一个夜晚，而就是此晚我却感到从来没有过的孤寂。
向着打开的窗口望去，我看到一缕缕轻烟从乔的烟斗中徐徐升起，在半空飘浮，立刻在我脑海中便想到这就像是乔对我的祝福——它不是硬迫使我接受，也不是想对我表演一番，这缕缕轻烟就那么弥漫在我和乔共同呼吸的空气之中。想到这里，我吹熄烛火，翻身上床。可是这张床现在也让我感到很不舒服，虽然睡在床上，可是再也不能进入像以往那样的酣睡甜眠。
