`MY DEAR MR PIP,
`I write this by request of Mr Gargery, for to let you know that he is going to London in company with Mr Wopsle and would be glad if agreeable to be allowed to see you. He would call at Barnard's Hotel Tuesday morning at nine o'clock, when if not agreeable please leave word. Your poor sister is much the same as when you left. We talk of you in the kitchen every night, and wonder what you are saying and doing. If now considered in the light of a liberty, excuse it for the love of poor old days. No more, dear Mr Pip, from
`Your ever obliged, and affectionate servant,
`BIDDY.'
`P.S. He wishes me most particular to write what larks. He says you will understand. I hope and do not doubt it will be agreeable to see him even though a gentleman, for you had ever a good heart, and he is a worthy worthy man. I have read him all excepting only the last little sentence, and he wishes me most particular to write again what larks.'
I received this letter by post on Monday morning, and therefore its appointment was for next day. Let me confess exactly, with what feelings I looked forward to Joe's coming.
Not with pleasure, though I was bound to him by so many ties; no; with considerable disturbance, some mortification, and a keen sense of incongruity. If I could have kept him away by paying money, I certainly would have paid money. My greatest reassurance was, that he was coming to Barnard's Inn, not to Hammersmith, and consequently would not fall in Bentley Drummle's way. I had little objection to his being seen by Herbert or his father, for both of whom I had a respect; but I had the sharpest sensitiveness as to his being seen by Drummle, whom I held in contempt. So, throughout life, our worst weaknesses and meannesses are usually committed for the sake of the people whom we most despise.
I had begun to be always decorating the chambers in some quite unnecessary and inappropriate way or other, and very expensive those wrestles with Barnard proved to be. By this time, the rooms were vastly different from what I had found them, and I enjoyed the honour of occupying a few prominent pages in the books of a neighbouring upholsterer. I had got on so fast of late, that I had even started a boy in boots - top boots - in bondage and slavery to whom I might have been said to pass my days. For, after I had made the monster (out of the refuse of my washerwoman's family) and had clothed him with a blue coat, canary waistcoat, white cravat, creamy breeches, and the boots already mentioned, I had to find him a little to do and a great deal to eat; and with both of those horrible requirements he haunted my existence.
This avenging phantom was ordered to be on duty at eight on Tuesday morning in the hall (it was two feet square, as charged for floorcloth), and Herbert suggested certain things for breakfast that he thought Joe would like. While I felt sincerely obliged to him for being so interested and considerate, I had an odd half-provoked sense of suspicion upon me, that if Joe had been coming to see him, he wouldn't have been quite so brisk about it.
However, I came into town on the Monday night to be ready for Joe, and I got up early in the morning, and caused the sittingroom and breakfast-table to assume their most splendid appearance. Unfortunately the morning was drizzly, and an angel could not have concealed the fact the Barnard was shedding sooty tears outside the window, like some weak giant of a Sweep.
As the time approached I should have liked to run away, but the Avenger pursuant to orders was in the hall, and presently I heard Joe on the staircase. I knew it was Joe, by his clumsy manner of coming up-stairs - his state boots being always too big for him - and by the time it took him to read the names on the other floors in the course of his ascent. When at last he stopped outside our door, I could hear his finger tracing over the painted letters of my name, and I afterwards distinctly heard him breathing in at the keyhole. Finally he gave a faint single rap, and Pepper - such was the compromising name of the avenging boy - announced `Mr Gargery!' I thought he never would have done wiping his feet, and that I must have gone out to lift him off the mat, but at last he came in.
`Joe, how are you, Joe?'
`Pip, how AIR you, Pip?'
With his good honest face all glowing and shining, and his hat put down on the floor between us, he caught both my hands and worked them straight up and down, as if I had been the lastpatented Pump.
`I am glad to see you, Joe. Give me your hat.'
But Joe, taking it up carefully with both hands, like a bird's-nest with eggs in it, wouldn't hear of parting with that piece of property, and persisted in standing talking over it in a most uncomfortable way.
`Which you have that growed,' said Joe, `and that swelled, and that gentle-folked;' Joe considered a little before he discovered this word; `as to be sure you are a honour to your king and country.'
`And you, Joe, look wonderfully well.'
`Thank God,' said Joe, `I'm ekerval to most. And your sister, she's no worse than she were. And Biddy, she's ever right and ready. And all friends is no backerder, if not no forarder. 'Ceptin'Wopsle; he's had a drop.'
All this time (still with both hands taking great care of the bird's-nest), Joe was rolling his eyes round and round the room, and round and round the flowered pattern of my dressing-gown.
`Had a drop, Joe?'
`Why yes,' said Joe, lowering his voice, `he's left the Church, and went into the playacting. Which the playacting have likeways brought him to London along with me. And his wish were,' said Joe, getting the bird's-nest under his left arm for the moment and groping in it for an egg with his right; `if no offence, as I would 'and you that.'
I took what Joe gave me, and found it to be the crumpled playbill of a small metropolitan theatre, announcing the first appearance, in that very week, of `the celebrated Provincial Amateur of Roscian renown, whose unique performance in the highest tragic walk of our National Bard has lately occasioned so great a sensation in local dramatic circles.'
`Were you at his performance, Joe?' I inquired.
`I were,' said Joe, with emphasis and solemnity.
`Was there a great sensation?'
`Why,' said Joe, `yes, there certainly were a peck of orangepeel. Partickler, when he see the ghost. Though I put it to yourself, sir, whether it were calc'lated to keep a man up to his work with a good hart, to be continiwally cutting in betwixt him and the Ghost with Mqq>Amen!" A man may have had a misfortun' and been in the Church,' said Joe, lowering his voice to an argumentative and feeling tone, `but that is no reason why you should put him out at such a time. Which I meantersay, if the ghost of a man's own father cannot be allowed to claim his attention, what can, Sir? Still more, when his mourning `at is unfortunately made so small as that the weight of the black feathers brings it off, try to keep it on how you may.'
A ghost-seeing effect in Joe's own countenance informed me that Herbert had entered the room. So, I presented Joe to Herbert, who held out his hand; but Joe backed from it, and held on by the bird's-nest.
`Your servant, Sir,' said Joe, `which I hope as you and Pip' - here his eye fell on the Avenger, who was putting some toast on table, and so plainly denoted an intention to make that young gentleman one of the family, that I frowned it down and confused him more - `I meantersay, you two gentlemen - which I hope as you get your elths in this close spot? For the present may be a werry good inn, according to London opinions,' said Joe, confidentially, `and I believe its character do stand i; but I wouldn't keep a pig in it myself - not in the case that I wished him to fatten wholesome and to eat with a meller flavour on him.'
Having borne this flattering testimony to the merits of our dwelling-place, and having incidentally shown this tendency to call me `sir,' Joe, being invited to sit down to table, looked all round the room for a suitable spot on which to deposit his hat - as if it were only on some very few rare substances in nature that it could find a resting place - and ultimately stood it on an extreme corner of the chimney-piece, from which it ever afterwards fell off at intervals.
`Do you take tea, or coffee, Mr Gargery?' asked Herbert, who always presided of a morning.
`Thankee, Sir,' said Joe, stiff from head to foot, `I'll take whichever is most agreeable to yourself.'
`What do you say to coffee?'
`Thankee, Sir,' returned Joe, evidently dispirited by the proposal, `since you are so kind as make chice of coffee, I will not run contrairy to your own opinions. But don't you never find it a little 'eating?'
`Say tea then,' said Herbert, pouring it out.
Here Joe's hat tumbled off the mantel-piece, and he started out of his chair and picked it up, and fitted it to the same exact spot. As if it were an absolute point of good breeding that it should tumble off again soon.
`When did you come to town, Mr Gargery?'
`Were it yesterday afternoon?' said Joe, after coughing behind his hand, as if he had had time to catch the whooping-cough since he came. `No it were not. Yes it were. Yes. It were yesterday afternoon' (with an appearance of mingled wisdom, relief, and strict impartiality).
`Have you seen anything of London, yet?'
`Why, yes, Sir,' said Joe, `me and Wopsle went off straight to look at the Blacking Ware'us. But we didn't find that it come up to its likeness in the red bills at the shop doors; which I meantersay,' added Joe, in an explanatory manner, `as it is there drawd too architectooralooral.'
I really believe Joe would have prolonged this word (mightily expressive to my mind of some architecture that I know) into a perfect Chorus, but for his attention being providentially attracted by his hat, which was toppling. Indeed, it demanded from him a constant attention, and a quickness of eye and hand, very like that exacted by wicket-keeping. He made extraordinary play with it, and showed the greatest skill; now, rushing at it and catching it neatly as it dropped; now, merely stopping it midway, beating it up, and humouring it in various parts of the room and against a good deal of the pattern of the paper on the wall, before he felt it safe to close with it; finally, splashing it into the slop-basin, where I took the liberty of laying hands upon it.
As to his shirt-collar, and his coat-collar, they were perplexing to reflect upon - insoluble mysteries both. Why should a man scrape himself to that extent, before he could consider himself full dressed? Why should he suppose it necessary to be purified by suffering for his holiday clothes? Then he fell into such unaccountable fits of meditation, with his fork midway between his plate and his mouth; had his eyes attracted in such strange directions; was afflicted with such remarkable coughs; sat so far from the table, and dropped so much more than he ate, and pretended that he hadn't dropped it; that I was heartily glad when Herbert left us for the city.
I had neither the good sense nor the good feeling to know that this was all my fault, and that if I had been easier with Joe, Joe would have been easier with me. I felt impatient of him and out of temper with him; in which condition he heaped coals of fire on my head.
`Us two being now alone, Sir,' - began Joe.
`Joe,' I interrupted, pettishly, `how can you call me, Sir?'
Joe looked at me for a single instant with something faintly like reproach. Utterly preposterous as his cravat was, and as his collars were, I was conscious of a sort of dignity in the look.
`Us two being now alone,' resumed Joe, `and me having the intentions and abilities to stay not many minutes more, I will now conclude - leastways begin - to mention what have led to my having had the present honour. For was it not,' said Joe, with his old air of lucid exposition, `that my only wish were to be useful to you, I should not have had the honour of breaking wittles in the company and abode of gentlemen.'
I was so unwilling to see the look again, that I made no remonstrance against this tone.
`Well, Sir,' pursued Joe, `this is how it were. I were at the Bargemen t'other night, Pip;' whenever he subsided into affection, he called me Pip, and whenever he relapsed into politeness he called me Sir; `when there come up in his shay-cart, Pumblechook. Which that same identical,' said Joe, going down a new track, `do comb my 'air the wrong way sometimes, awful, by giving out up and down town as it were him which ever had your infant companionation and were looked upon as a playfellow by yourself.'
`Nonsense. It was you, Joe.'
`Which I fully believed it were, Pip,' said Joe, slightly tossing his head, `though it signify little now, Sir. Well, Pip; this same identical, which his manners is given to blusterous, come to me at the Bargemen (wot a pipe and a pint of beer do give refreshment to the working-man, Sir, and do not over stimilate), and his word were, "Joseph, Miss Havisham she wish to speak to you."'
`Miss Havisham, Joe?'
`"She wish," were Pumblechook's word, "to speak to you."' Joe sat and rolled his eyes at the ceiling.
`Yes, Joe? Go on, please.'
`Next day, Sir,' said Joe, looking at me as if I were a long way off, `having cleaned myself, I go and I see Miss A.'
`Miss A., Joe? Miss Havisham?'
`Which I say, Sir,' replied Joe, with an air of legal formality, as if he were making his will, `Miss A., or otherways Havisham. Her expression air then as follering: "Mr Gargery. You air in correspondence with Mr Pip?" Having had a letter from you, I were able to say "I am." (When I married your sister, Sir, I said "I will;" and when I answered your friend, Pip, I said "I am.") "Would you tell him, then," said she, "that which Estella has come home and would be glad to see him."'
I felt my face fire up as I looked at Joe. I hope one remote cause of its firing, may have been my consciousness that if I had known his errand, I should have given him more encouragement.
`Biddy,' pursued Joe, `when I got home and asked her fur to write the message to you, a little hung back. Biddy says, "I know he will be very glad to have it by word of mouth, it is holidaytime, you want to see him, go!" I have now concluded, Sir,' said Joe, rising from his chair, `and, Pip, I wish you ever well and ever prospering to a greater and a greater heighth.'
`But you are not going now, Joe?'
`Yes I am,' said Joe.
`But you are coming back to dinner, Joe?'
`No I am not,' said Joe.
Our eyes met, and all the `Sir' melted out of that manly heart as he gave me his hand.
`Pip, dear old chap, life is made of ever so many partings welded together, as I may say, and one man's a blacksmith, and one's a whitesmith, and one's a goldsmith, and one's a coppersmith. Diwisions among such must come, and must be met as they come. If there's been any fault at all to-day, it's mine. You and me is not two figures to be together in London; nor yet anywheres else but what is private, and beknown, and understood among friends. It ain't that I am proud, but that I want to be right, as you shall never see me no more in these clothes. I'm wrong in these clothes. I'm wrong out of the forge, the kitchen, or off th' meshes. You won't find half so much fault in me if you think of me in my forge dress, with my hammer in my hand, or even my pipe. You won't find half so much fault in me if, supposing as you should ever wish to see me, you come and put your head in at the forge window and see Joe the blacksmith, there, at the old anvil, in the old burnt apron, sticking to the old work. I'm awful dull, but I hope I've beat out something nigh the rights of this at last. And so GOD bless you, dear old Pip, old chap, GOD bless you!'
I had not been mistaken in my fancy that there was a simple dignity in him. The fashion of his dress could no more come in its way when he spoke these words, than it could come in its way in Heaven. He touched me gently on the forehead, and went out. As soon as I could recover myself sufficiently, I hurried out after him and looked for him in the neighbouring streets; but he was gone.
亲爱的皮普先生:
葛奇里先生请我写一封信给你,告诉你他准备到伦敦去一次,由汉甫赛先生陪同。如果你愿意他去看你,他是非常乐意的。下星期二早晨九点钟,他会去巴纳德旅馆。万一你不愿意他去看你,也请留个条子在那里。你可怜的姐姐还是老样子,和你走时一样没有起色。每天晚上我们都在厨房谈论你,猜你在说些什么,在做些什么。你要是觉得我们这样未免过分,也请你看在昔日友情的面上而原谅我们。亲爱的皮普先生,不再多叙了。永远感谢你、热爱你的仆人毕蒂
他要我特别写上“真开心啊”这几个字。他说你一见这几个字就会明白其中的意思。我希望,也不怀疑,虽然你现在是个上等人,也一定会很高兴见他,因为你永远有一颗善良的心,而他又是个非常非常好的人。我把写的所有话都读给他听过,除了最后一个短句。他希望我特别把“真开心啊”这几个字再写一遍。又及。
我接到邮局给我送来的这封信时已经是星期一的早晨,所以第二天便是约定的会面日期。至于乔的前来使我情感波动万千,这里我得从良心上忏悔自己。
我固然和乔之间有着千丝万缕情感上的联系,然而对于他的来访,我心头仍颇感不快。非但如此,我心头还感到杂乱无章、羞耻惭愧。我们两人的地位如此不一致,如果利用金钱的力量可使他不来,我宁愿付给他钱。不过稍使我安心的是他是到巴纳德旅馆,而不是到汉莫史密斯,自然也就不会撞上本特莱·德鲁莫尔。我倒不太担心他见到赫伯特或他的父亲,因为我对他们两人都很尊敬,但是一想到会被德鲁莫尔见到,我内在的情感就受到了残酷的破坏,因为我轻视他。人生在世,往往由于为了躲开最轻视的人,却犯下了最卑鄙的恶行。
我早就开始装饰我的几间房,而且总是用很不必要和很不恰当的方法来装饰它们,何况是巴纳德旅馆中的房间,实在要花费很多的钱。现在这几个房间和我刚来时已大不相同,我有特殊的荣幸,居然在附近一家家具店中赊帐可观,项目已占了好几页。我的生活要求越来越高,不久前还雇佣了一个小仆人,让他穿上了一双高统靴子。虽说是仆人,我却不得不承认,自从雇他以来,我反而受了他的束缚和奴役。他简直是个小怪物,本来只是我的洗衣妇家中的废物,我却雇佣了他,让他穿上蓝外衣、黄背心、白领结、奶油色马裤,并蹬上刚才提到过的高统靴,每天还得为他找些活儿干,给他许多东西吃。他像幽灵般地缠绕住我,天天要我答应他这两个可怕而讨厌的要求。
我叫这个讨债的幽灵于星期二上午八时站在厅堂里值班(这厅堂只有两英尺见方,由于铺地毯时记录在册,所以记得)。赫伯特提出了几样早点,认为乔会喜欢吃这些东西。我对他由衷地表示感谢,因为他既表示出关心,又想得周到,不过在内心还是有点儿气愤和怀疑,觉得如果乔是来看他的,他就不会如此活泼主动了吧。
总而言之,我在星期一晚上便来到城里,准备第二天迎接乔。我一大清早便起身,把起居室和早餐餐桌布置得非常富丽堂皇。可惜天公不作美,一早便降下氵蒙氵蒙细雨,即使天国派天使来也掩饰不住巴纳德旅馆现实的景象:窗外流着泪,泪水是乌黑的,好像是扫烟囱的巨人在流泪。
约定的时间愈来愈近,本来我早想逃跑了,无奈按照规定,那个讨债鬼正守在厅堂里。不一会儿我就听到乔上楼梯的声音,那种笨手笨脚上楼的脚步声,一听就知道是他,因为他穿的那双出门的靴子太大,而且每爬上一层楼他都要把这一层住客的姓名读出来。最后,他来到我这套房间的门前。我听到他用手指摸了摸标在门上的我的名字,然后又清清楚楚地听到他的呼吸声,这声音是从钥匙孔里传进来的。接着,他在门上轻轻地敲了一下,这时佩勃(我给那个讨债鬼仆人暂时起的一个名字)通报道:“葛奇里先生到!”我正在想着怎么他在门口的擦鞋垫上擦个没完,再这样我得走出去把他拉进来才是;这时他却进来了。
“乔,你好吗,乔?”
“皮普,你好吗,皮普?”
他那张善良诚实的面孔上光彩夺目,他把帽子丢在我们两人中间的地板上,抓住我的两只手,来来回回地晃着,简直把我当成了一台新发明的抽水机。
“乔,我见到你可多高兴啊。把你的帽子交给我。”
可是乔用两只手小心翼翼地把帽子从地上捡起来,像捧着一窝鸟蛋似地捧着它,不情愿让这笔财产离开他的手。他坚持捧着帽子站在那里同我谈话,场面非常尴尬。
“你现在长大了,”乔说道,“你现在长胖了,你长得更像上等人了。”乔思考了一会儿才想出了下面的一句话:“我敢肯定你已经成为国王陛下和国家的光荣了。”
“乔,你看上去也好极了。”
“托上帝洪福,”乔说道,“我倒是还不错。你姐姐还是和过去一样,不好也不坏。毕蒂永远身体健康,干活敏捷。除沃甫赛外,所有亲友也都不好不坏。沃甫赛的运气不佳。”
在这所有的时间里他都小心翼翼地捧着他那“一窝鸟蛋”,两只眼睛在房间四周转来转去,在我睡衣的花饰图案上转来转去。
“他运气不佳,乔?”
“唔,是的,”乔说着,把声音放低下来,“他已经离开了教堂,去演戏了,而且正是因为演戏才把他带到伦敦,才和我同行。他说,”这时乔用左边路肢窝夹住那只鸟窝,而把右手伸到里面去,好像在摸鸟蛋一样,“把这个东西给你看一下,不知你介不介意。”
我接过乔递给我的东西,原来是伦敦大都会里一家小戏馆的一张揉皱了的戏报,上面说该戏馆在本周将由“著名的地方业余演员(其名声可与古罗马著名喜剧演员罗西乌相比)登台献艺,演出我国诗坛之圣莎士比亚的最伟大悲剧,演艺超群,在当地曾引起轰动。”
“乔,你观看过他的演出吗?”我问道。
“我观看过。”乔用强调而严肃的口气说。
“真引起过轰动吗?”
“唔,”乔说道,“是这样,确实丢了许多桔子皮,特别是他见到鬼魂的那一场。先生,要是你自己,不妨想一想,正当他同鬼魂交往时,你却用‘阿门’来打断人家,这怎么能让人家安心地演好戏?虽然他有过不幸,在教堂里干过事,”乔这时放低了声音,用一种动感情的议论语调说道,“但是你没有理由在这种场合和人家捣蛋。我的意思是说,如果一个人连自己父亲的鬼魂都不能去关注,那么又能去关注谁呢,先生,你说呢?再说,他头上的那顶丧帽真是太小了,以至于插上黑羽毛便容易掉下来,可是他却稳稳当当地戴在头上。”
乔的面容上忽然现出见了鬼似的表情,我一看就知道是赫伯特回到了房间,便给他们介绍。赫伯特把手伸过来,乔却把手缩了回去,并且捧着鸟窝不放。
“先生,向你问安,”他先对赫伯特说道,“小的希望你和皮普——”这时讨债鬼正把一些早点放到餐桌上,乔的目光落到了他的身上,很显然,他打算把讨债鬼也计算进去,我连忙向他挤眉弄眼,他才没有说出来,不过这使他更加不知所措了。“我是说,你们两位先生住在如此狭窄的地方,身体一向可好?按照伦敦人的看法,目前这个旅馆是相当不错的,”乔这时把心里话都说了出来,“我知道这个旅馆是第一流的,不过要我到这里来养猪我也不高兴,看来在这个地方养猪是肥不了的,而且这里养大的猪连肉味也不会鲜美。”
乔说完了不少夸奖我们旅馆的话,但可以听出,他不时地对我也用起“先生”来了。我请他坐在餐桌旁,他东张西望,想找到一处合适的地方放他的帽子,好像在这里根本就没有几处帽子可以容身的地方。最后在那壁炉的尖角上他总算把帽子安顿好了,但在那儿帽子可不太稳,不时就要从上面掉下来。
“葛奇里先生,你是喝茶还是喝咖啡?”赫伯特说道,他早餐时总是坐在首位。
“谢谢你先生,”乔从头到脚都是局促不安的样子,说道,“只要你们喜欢,我喝什么都行。”
“那么喝咖啡怎么样?”
“谢谢你先生,”乔答道,从语气中可以听出他对这个建议有些失望,“既然你诚心诚意为我准备咖啡,对于你的建议我是不会反对的。不过你不觉得喝咖啡有些热吗?”
“那么我们就喝茶吧。”赫伯特一面说一面就开始倒茶。
这时乔的帽子从壁炉架上掉了下来,他连忙从座位上起身,把帽子捡起来,又端端正正地放在原来的地方。虽然帽子放在那里马上又会掉下来,但他好像认为只有这样才能表现出优良教养的高贵风度。
“葛奇里先生,你什么时候来到伦敦的?”
“是昨天下午来到城里的吧!”乔用一只手捂住嘴咳嗽了几声,好像他来到伦敦有不少日子,已经染上了这里的百日咳毛病。他说道:“哦,不是昨天下午,哦,是昨天下午。是的,的确是昨天下午。”他的神情显得既智慧,又宽慰,还不离公正。
“你在伦敦逛了街吗?”
“先生,自然逛过街了,”乔答道,“我和沃甫赛先生到鞋油厂去看过,不过,我们觉得这个厂和店铺门口的那些红色招贴画比起来要差些。我是说,”乔对自己说的话加以解释,“那画上面的建筑真——够——气——派。”
他说的“真够气派”这个词倒真使我想起见到过的有气派的建筑物。本来我以为乔还要把这个词拖长,好像唱圣诗一样,不过这时他的注意力又被快要下跌的帽子吸引住了。确实,他要时时刻刻不忘帽子会掉下来,要拿出板球场上守门员眼尖手快的本领。他玩得不错,表演得也极其精彩。有时帽子刚往下落,他就冲过去,一把接住,干净利落;有时帽子已经下落,他便在空中把帽子捞起,双手托上,顺势在屋中转个圈子,把墙上糊的花纸撞个遍,然后才感到放心地把帽子放归原处;最后,帽子掉进了洗碗杯的水盆中,溅起一片水花,这时我不得不冒昧地一把抓住了它。
至于他的衬衣领子和外衣领子简直令人百思不得其解,是个不能解决的谜。为什么一个人为了要使自己所谓衣冠齐整而偏偏让自己的脖子被擦来刮去呢?为什么一个人一定要穿上节日礼服使自己左右不是才算是必须的清洁齐整呢?这时,乔进入了一种莫名其妙的境界,神思恍惚,一时从盘中叉起食物不送进嘴巴,却停在半空;一时两只眼睛东张西望,不知道在注意什么;一时咳嗽咳得自己苦恼难挨;一时又离桌子远远地坐着,掉下来的食物比吃进去的还要多,却还装模作样好像自己什么东西也没有掉。幸亏这时赫伯特离开我们自顾到城里去了,我这才松了口气,心情愉快起来。
其实这一切都是我的错,我既没有很好地理解他,又没有体贴他的情感。如果我对他平易一些,他也就会感到*轻松一些,而我对他耐心不够,还对他发脾气,可即使是在这种情况下,他给我的却仍是像炉火一样的赤诚。
“先生,现在只剩下我们两个人了——”乔开口说道。
“乔,”我有些生气地打断了他的话头,“你怎么叫起我先生来了?”
乔看了我一眼,似乎稍带了一些责备。他的领带和领子尽管十分令人可笑,然而从他的目光中我窥探出一丝儿严厉。
“现在只剩下我们两个人了,”他接下去说道,“我想我再过几分钟也得走了,不能再耽搁,所以在谈话结束时我想说,其实也没什么可说,只是说一说我怎么会有如此的荣幸来到这里的。”乔像往常那样直截了当地说明道,“我所希望的就是对你有好处,否则我怎么能够到这里来,怎么能有如此荣幸到上流人的住宅中和上流人同桌共餐呢?”
我不情愿再看他的那种眼色,所以对他的这种语气没有再提出奉劝和*。
“唔,先生,”乔这时说道,“我就告诉你这件事吧。皮普,几天前的一个晚上我在三个快乐的船夫酒店里,”他一动真情,便会称呼我皮普;但是一旦他要客套,就会叫我先生,“正好彭波契克驾着马车来了。就是这个人,”乔说着,在这里话锋转到一个新的方向,“在镇上,镇里镇外地胡说他是你幼年时代的伙伴,又说你自己也把他当成一同玩耍的朋友。有时他把我弄得火冒冒的,我简直气坏了。”
“全是胡说八道。只有你,乔,才是我幼年时代的伙伴呢!”
“这我完全自信,皮普,”乔说道,把头稍稍昂起一些,“虽然现在说来也没什么,先生。唔,皮普,还是这个家伙,他怒气冲冲地来到三个快乐的船夫酒店,直向我冲过来。先生,你知道我们干活儿的人,在那里抽口烟喝杯酒,轻松一下,不是追求过分的刺激。而这个家伙对我说:‘约瑟夫,郝维仙小姐她要找你谈一下。’”
“乔,郝维仙小姐找你?”
“她要找我谈一下,这是彭波契克讲的。”乔坐在那里,两只眼睛对着天花板转着、望着。
“乔,是这样吗?再说下去。”
“先生,第二天,”乔望着我说道,仿佛我离他很远,“我自己梳洗于净后,便去看爱小姐。”
“乔,爱小姐是谁?是郝维仙小姐吗?”
乔好像在立他的遗嘱一样,用一副正正经经的合法神气一板一眼地说:“我说的是爱小姐,她也叫郝维仙,她见到我向我说,‘葛奇里先生,你和皮普先生通信吗?’我接到过你一封信,所以我就说,‘是。’记得当年我和你姐姐结婚,先生,我对她说愿意,而现在,皮普,我回答你朋友提出的问题,我用了‘是’。她对我说,‘那么你告诉他,埃斯苔娜已经回家了,她很乐意和他见面。’”
我望着乔,面孔感到火辣辣的。我深深了解,我脸上发热的一个间接原因是我的良心意识到,如果早知道乔是为了这件事而来,我本应该对他更热情一些。
乔继续说道:“我从她那里回家,便要毕蒂写信告诉你,可她不大赞成。毕蒂说,‘我知道他最喜欢有话当面讲,反正现在是假期,你还是去看看他吧!’于是我就作了决定,先生。”乔说着便从椅子上站了起来,“皮普,我祝你永远健康,永远发财,步步高升。”
“乔,你现在就要走吗?”
“是的,我要走了。”乔答道。
“乔,不过,你要回来吃饭啊?”
“不回来吃饭了。”乔说道。
我们四目相遇,他向我伸出手来,那“先生”一词在刚强的男子汉心中便消融殆尽了。
“皮普,我亲爱的老弟,生活本来就是由许多不同的零件组合而成的。就说人吧,有的人是铁匠,有的人是银匠,有的人是金匠,还有的人是铜匠。在这个大千世界里,既有相逢,又有别离,何足为奇?今日相逢,我们之间如果有什么错事,错误都归于我。你和我二人在伦敦、在任何地方都到不了一块儿,除非回到自己家中,才能重新成为好朋友,相互了解。我一走你就看不见我穿这套衣服了;穿这套衣服不是为了自尊,而是为了需要;错就错在这些衣服。我一离开铁匠铺,一离开厨房,或者一离开沼泽地,就会感到不舒服。要是你想起我穿着打铁的工作服,手上拿了铁锤,甚至嘴上叼着烟斗,也许你就顺眼了。要是有一天你希望来看我,你就来,把头伸进铁匠铺的窗户,看一眼铁匠乔,那时他正站在老铁砧的旁边,腰间围着被烧得焦黄的旧围裙,操持着他的老本行,你看我就会顺眼了。我是很迟钝的人,但是我希望我讲的话都是在铁砧上千锤百炼出来的。哦,亲爱的老朋友皮普,我的老弟,愿上帝保佑你,上帝保佑你!”
在我的想象中我对乔没有误解,他的心地既纯朴又尊严。就从他所说的这一番话可以看出,不相称的衣服算不了什么,他的尊严却令人佩服,即使到了天国,他的尊严也不会比现在更高。这时,他轻轻地摸了一下我的额头,便悄然离去。等我从恍馆之中清醒过来,匆忙举步追去,在附近的几条街上寻找他,然而他已经踪迹皆无。